New Year’s Resolutions may have their place, but they don’t work for me. They’re a little like glossy campaign promises—they look nice on paper, but following through with them is another story.
Instead, what I find myself doing lately is asking the following three soul stirring questions that probe further into what’s happening and allow me to enjoy a more meaningful life in any given moment.
Question #1: How can I deepen this experience?
This question keeps coming up—whether it’s a challenge that I’m going through or spirit-soaring fulfillment that I’m seeking.
I’ll give you one specific example.
Sometimes I don’t have the same impetus to write about beauty products as I did in the beginning of my blog. At the outset, my goal was to raise awareness about a more holistic lifestyle and help readers make the switch to cleaner beauty. However, writing about products for products’ sake and sharing more and more enticing beauty finds make it seem shallow.
So I keep asking how I can delve deeper into the concept of beauty so that it transforms into a more meaningful expression. Then it becomes more about how we feel about ourselves, what we can learn about a new brand or the wisdom behind a formula, than it is about the next new trend.
Question #2: How can I get out of my own way?
I don’t know about you, but a lot of times I get a creative download and then immediately start to self-sabotage. Thoughts like “Oh, that would be too hard,” “You don’t have enough experience to do that,” or every “What if?” in the book come up and I have to swat them down like flies.
Sometimes asking how I can get out of my own way allows the “stinkin’ thinkin'” to come forward so that I can acknowledge the false concepts and dig into the reality of the situation which is usually quite different.
It would be a darn shame if the world doesn’t get to discover what you have to offer on account of one sponsoring thought that gets in the way. Peel away the layers to uncover what’s blocking the truth. What’s inside proves that you’ve got what it takes to make almost anything happen, so it’s worth the effort.
Remember, if you don’t get out of your own way, why should anyone else?
Question #3: How can I re-frame this?
I’m always talking to myself—not usually out loud. The conversation can either be paralyzing or motivating, and that’s entirely my choice.
For instance, as I’m applying makeup and looking a lot closer in the mirror than usual, I often fall into the trap of critical self-talk as every new wrinkle, grey hair, zit, and perceived imperfection glares back at me.
Instead of continuing the barrage of self-berating talk, I check it out inside to see what would help me reframe the down-talk. So I ask myself how I’d talk to a good friend in the same predicament. I find this constructive question helps me turn things around as I recognize that I’d never talk to a friend the same way that I talk to myself.
What I do find myself saying now is modeled after Audrey Hepburn’s oft-repeated quote: “For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”
It helps me shift gears instantly. So when I apply makeup or clothing, I name the ways I want to use my sacred body for the good.
The re-frame is a powerful tool that I use in parenting and in other every day situations.
Those are my three questions. What questions could you ask yourself to enable your visions for a beautiful year?