Not long ago, I admit that I did something I’m not proud of doing.
I left a snide comment on someone’s Facebook post. It’s not my fault really. It was begging for it. Or so I thought.
The post showed a video of a young couple who were performing a duet for American Idol. The post read that this couple was clearly and totally in love.
So I rolled my eyes and snorted and banged out on the keyboard: “Sadly most of these couples who seem so ‘in love’ usually break up weeks later. ”
Here’s what I was thinking about: the happily-ever-after couples who cite irreconcilable differences long before their wedding photos have gone to press.
I figured that most of the other people commenting on the post would relate to this.
I certainly did. Because here’s what I was really thinking about:
The many disappointments that I had experienced in love—way more than I’d like to count. After some of my breakups, I often wished that I had never gotten involved with those men at all. The aftermath of grief and loneliness would utterly consume me.
Here’s what I was wishing at the time: I’d rather be a pebble dropped into a bottomless chasm. At least there would be no crash.
Though I tried to be evolved about the whole thing, the truth is—the pain just wasn’t worth it. It hurt too much. I felt too broken. I could barely eek out a memory of myself being happier, independent, self-sufficient. But when I did, I wanted me back without the stuff that came in between.
So when I looked at this couple who were so “in love,” I remembered feeling that way once too. And I remembered that it didn’t last. So what was the point in feeling it at all?
Well, fortunately, the person* who posted the video was having none of my cynicism.
Do you know what she wrote back to me?
I’ll never forget it because she was totally spot on!
She wrote: “Love is love no matter how long it lasts.”
And there you have it. There was nothing I could say to that.
Because for the time that it lasted, it was thrilling, heart expanding, ecstatic, interconnected, deep, real, and wonderful.
Love, naturally, is.
Now I get to experience it with my wonderful partner in life. And the dropped pebble seems like a mere drop in the bucket today.
[*Credit where it is due: Thank you, Lisa Fabrega, for taking no smack from me and for always bringing your truth.]