The gauntlet was thrown and I was up for the challenge!
So here is my attempt at turning a trip under the stars into a full-blown spa retreat.
You will need:
- A working knowledge of plant life and a good eye for poison ivy
- May Lindstrom’s The Complete Skin Experience
- Fresh running stream water (or a bottle of Poland Spring will do. Stay away from Dasani. It’s as good as tap water.)
- A heating source (a traditional blazing fire or—for the flint stone challenged—a burner)
- Access to wild raspberries
- Natural Bug Spray or Citronella candles
- A comfortable sleeping bag with extra pillows
- An obliging spouse who will take the kids fishing for a few hours
Step One: Create the Space
The candles will naturally add a warm glow, and—um, delicate aroma, to the experience.
Lay down the sleeping bag where the ground is soft and accommodating. Do try to avoid jagged rocks, twigs, and such, for unnecessary poking.
Allow the birds, crickets, and occasional passing fly to create the mood music. A burbling brook is an absolute must!
Step Two: Prepare the Facial Treatment
Warm water over the heating source. Add any forest herbs at your disposal (calendula, comfrey, pine, or a Tazo tea bag for the less resourceful among us). Cover head with a towel and steam face to open pores. Breathe in the woodsy scent. Allow the stress of packing for a long camping trip with meal planning melt right off you.
Step Three: Cleanse face with The Clean Dirt
The Clean Dirt is like no other cleanser you have ever tried. It will blend right into your surroundings so no one else will borrow it (but for the GORGEOUS bottle it comes in which you will artfully hide from everyone!)
But that is where the similarities to dirt begin and end. The spicy fragrance will transport you to a remote exotic location. The surprising foaming reaction when you mix the sandy grains with water creates a mousse-like consistency as you exfoliate and clean your skin at once. You emerge from the cleansing with clear, bright skin that is smoother too.
You begin to awaken from the horror of being stuck in the middle of the woods without technology or electrical devices. A peaceful feeling washes over you, not unlike the feeling you have when you realize that it was just a nightmare.
Step Four: Mixing Ritual for The Problem Solver
To earn a name like The Problem Solver requires a solemn, yet joyful dancing ceremony over a black earthenware mixing bowl (fortunately, it comes with this luxurious set).
You are completely alone (other than the countless insects, critters, and fowl that surround you), so you dance with abandon as you mix the water with the black-as-a-raven mask with the brush (naturally included too). You massage the mask slowly into your skin with the brush or fingers (nails are already blackened anyway. You ARE camping after all).
Now you are camouflaged with your surroundings. Even your family will not recognize you, if they return too early. You can blend easily with the trees.
Lie down. Relax. You deserve it. Give this mask the time it needs to transform your skin and solve all your problems.
Step Five: Eat or Wear the Raspberries
After you slowly stir from slumber—or your foot falls asleep awkwardly jammed under a tree stump and jars you awake—rinse the mask from your face. Your skin should be gleaming by now.
This is the perfect time to mash up the wild raspberries and use them as another exfoliating mask, or eat them. Pretend that someone is feeding them to you, the way Cleopatra probably did. Remember, this is YOUR spa getaway!
Step Six: Dip into the Fountain of Youth Dew
Open your palm and pour a few drops of The Youth Dew into them. Warm the precious drops between your hands and massage onto your face, neck, and decolletage. Follow this with a dunk in The Good Stuff radiance oil, a body elixir with cocoa, rose, lavender, and ylang-ylang.
If you do not look and feel completely rejuvenated and alive by the end of this ritual, then something has seriously backfired. You will have to tell your husband that you need to do it again VERY, VERY soon!
These six simple steps unlock the key to a fully enjoyable and unforgettable camping experience.
May Lindstrom’s products induce a luxurious skin enhancing spa ritual wherever they are—even in the most unlikely places!